Couples therapy worksheets that actually get filled out.
Gottman-informed and clinically grounded — Four Horsemen with antidotes, Bids for Connection, Repair Attempts, Soft Startup Scripts, Fair Fighting Rules, I-Statements, and the Boundary Builder. Free, print-ready, designed for couples to take home and use.
Four Horsemen & Antidotes
Gottman — the four predictors of relationship breakdown, and the way back
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling — each one paired with the small move that softens it.
Bids for Connection
Gottman — the tiny moments that build (or erode) a relationship
Every interaction is a bid. Turn toward, turn away, or turn against — track the pattern in your relationships this week.
Repair Attempts
Gottman — small phrases to de-escalate mid-conflict
A menu of repair lines — humor, ownership, soft requests — that can pull a fight back from the edge.
Boundary Builder
Draft the actual sentence you'll say out loud
Identify the limit, the person, the why, and the exact words. Three drafts per page so the final version is rehearsed, not improvised.
Soft Startup Scripts
Gottman's gentle opening — drafted, not improvised
I feel ___ about ___ and I need ___. Three drafts per conversation, with the harsh-startup version next to it so the contrast lands.
Assertive Communication
Passive · aggressive · assertive — and the actual words
Compare the three styles in your own recent moments, then draft the assertive version out loud. The point isn't being nicer — it's being clear without bracing for war.
Fair Fighting Rules
Ten ground rules to make a hard conversation survivable
Stay on one topic, take 20-minute breaks, no character attacks, no kitchen-sinking. The pre-agreed contract that lets conflict produce repair instead of damage.
I-Statements
I feel ___ when ___ because ___ — drafted, not improvised
The classic non-blaming frame, with side-by-side you-statement vs. I-statement examples and three drafts of the one the client actually has to say this week.
Boundaries — A Plain Guide
What boundaries are, what they aren't, and the six kinds
Physical, emotional, time, material, intellectual, sexual — defined, with one recognizable example and one common violation each. Psychoeducation before the Boundary Builder.
Gottman Repair Checklist
The phrases that keep a fight from becoming the fight
From Gottman's research: repair attempts — not the absence of conflict — predict whether a relationship lasts. Five categories of phrases to circle, practice, and keep visible during conflict.
Attachment Styles Worksheet
Read your pattern under stress — and one earned-security practice
Plain-language descriptions of secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment, a place to spot your own pattern with a recent example, and three concrete earned-security practices for the week.
Boundaries Worksheet
Name the cost, hold the limit, write the script
A plain-language boundaries worksheet. Names what the situation is costing, the limit you want to hold, what you'll do if it's crossed, and a script in your own words — plus pushback and how you'll stay steady.
Codependency Worksheet
Spot the pattern, name the fear, take one step back
An eight-item codependency checklist plus reflection: where it shows up most, what you fear will happen if you stop over-functioning, one thing to stop doing for them and one to do for yourself instead.
Communication Skills Worksheet
I-statements, listening, and a real script
The I-statement formula plus a rewrite of a real recent moment, a script of what to say and what to drop, and a structure for reflecting before responding.
Conflict Resolution Worksheet
From positions to needs to options both sides can hold
Distinguishes positions (what each side is asking for) from needs (what is actually underneath), surfaces overlap, generates three options that meet both sets of needs, and rehearses the opening line.
What couples worksheets do well
Couples work lives or dies on whether the work continues outside the room. These worksheets exist for that — concrete language to take home, a literal page to sit beside each other and fill out, a script to rehearse before the conversation actually happens. The library draws heavily on John and Julie Gottman's research (Four Horsemen, bids, repair, soft startup) and integrates EFT, IBCT, and standard communication-skills work.
A typical sequence
Start with the Four Horsemen psychoeducation — most couples can identify their two within minutes. Pair it with Bids for Connection homework to shift attention to the small everyday moments that build (or erode) the relationship. As the couple stabilizes, add Soft Startup Scripts and Repair Attempts — the first 90 seconds of a conversation predict the next 90 minutes, and pre-rehearsed repair lines pull fights back from the edge.
For couples in escalating cycles, draft and sign the Fair Fighting Rules as an actual agreement. Add the I-Statements and Assertive Communication worksheets for clients whose default mode is either flooding or freezing.
Free to print and send
Every couples worksheet here is free to download as a clean printable PDF and free to send via secure link from a TherapistAssist account. No watermarks, no per-couple limits. Designed for clinicians who want their take-home work to look like a real piece of clinical material.