Relationships · Communication
Soft Startup Scripts
Gottman's gentle opening — drafted, not improvised
The first 90 seconds predict the next 90 minutes. Soft startup is the Gottman shape: I feel ___ about ___ and I need ___. Draft it three times. Use the third.
The topic
Who you're talking to
Harsh startup (the trap)
"You never ___. What's wrong with you?"
Soft startup
"I feel ___ about ___ and I need ___."
Draft 1
Draft 2 · softer
Draft 3 · final