Relationships · Couples
Infidelity Recovery Worksheet
Structure the first phase after disclosure so the couple can keep talking
About this worksheet
For couples in the first phase after a disclosed affair — usually the first three to six months, when the injured partner needs the story to feel they have the story, the involved partner needs to hold the disclosure without collapse, and both need weekly agreements to make the room safe enough to keep talking. Not a decision worksheet (stay/leave) and not a healing worksheet (that comes later) — a structure for the specific work of Phase One: what's still needed to hear, what's still avoided saying, this week's triggers (dates, places, phone patterns, silences) and what helped, what the injured partner needs today as a specific behavior not a feeling, what full transparency looks like this week for the involved partner, agreement about outside contact with the affair partner, and a structured weekly check-in with agenda, time limit, and exit signal.
When to use it
- The first months after affair discovery, before the couple is stable enough for deeper reconstruction.
- As between-session structure alongside affair-recovery couples work (Gottman ATTUNE, EFT, or Glass model).
- When either partner is oscillating between rage/collapse and 'we're fine' — the sheet steadies the pacing.
- As a transparency instrument in ongoing recovery, not as a substitute for therapy.
How to use it
- 1Confirm this is a couple already in couples therapy
Phase One work without a therapist regularly present can destabilize both partners. This sheet assumes a container.
- 2Both partners complete their fields
Not merged, not the injured partner alone. The involved partner's 'what I'm still avoiding saying' field is often the movement material.
- 3Bounded weekly check-in
Agenda, time limit, exit signal. Unstructured 'we need to talk' conversations at this phase almost always spiral.
- 4Concrete behavior, not feelings, for requests
'Text me when you leave the office' is workable; 'make me feel safe' isn't. The specificity is the intervention.
Frequently asked questions
Is this for the couple to fill in alone?+
Between-session, yes — but only if they're already in couples therapy. Post-affair work without professional support routinely goes off the rails in ways the worksheet can't hold.
How is this different from the Gottman Trust Revival Method?+
Complementary, not competing. Gottman's ATTUNE framework structures the whole recovery; this sheet is a week-by-week working instrument for Phase One inside that structure or others (EFT, Glass model).
What about ambiguous or micro-cheating?+
The frame still applies — the specific transparency, contact, and check-in agreements just look different. The sheet is content-neutral about what counts as the affair.
Is this worksheet free?+
Yes. Free printable PDF. Sign in to TherapistAssist to send as a secure client link.
Related worksheets
Worksheet — Infidelity Recovery Worksheet — provided by TherapistAssist for clinical use. Not a substitute for assessment or treatment.