Relationships · Connection
Bids for Connection
Gottman — the tiny moments that build (or erode) a relationship
A bid is any move toward connection — a question, a look, a sigh, a "did you see this?". Couples who last respond to bids about 86% of the time. Couples who drift, 33%. It's not the fights. It's the bids.
Turn Toward
Acknowledge. Engage. Even a small ‘mm’ counts.
Turn Away
Miss it. Distracted, busy, on the phone. No malice — just absence.
Turn Against
Snap, criticize, mock. The bid is met with a wall.
This week's bid tracker
Note 6 bids you noticed — from them, from you. Mark how each one was met.
Bidder
The bid
Toward / Away / Against
A bid I missed
No blame. Just notice — and consider what a small turn toward could have looked like.