Relationships · Gottman
Dreams Within Conflict
69% of fights are perpetual
69% of couple conflicts are perpetual — you don't solve them, you learn the dream underneath. Then you can honor it instead of fighting about it.
The recurring conflict
My position — what I'm asking for on the surface
The dream underneath — what this represents for me (history, values, identity)
My partner's dream underneath (what I understand of it)
Non-negotiable core / areas of flex — for each of us