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Relationships · Gottman

Stress-Reducing Conversation

20 minutes, daily

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Gottman's stress-reducing conversation is a 20-minute daily ritual: talk about stress outside the relationship, not inside it. Both sides get a turn.

Timing we'll try (same time daily, phones away)
Speaker rules — one topic, no problem-solving asked for
Listener rules — understanding, not fixing; validation, not advice
How we signal when we want advice vs empathy only
What we'll try for one week and review

References & further reading

Conceptual background and further reading, not validation of this handout. Named instruments and methods belong to their original authors; custom prompts and trackers are not validated versions of those instruments.

  • Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (revised ed.). Harmony.
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