Guilt and shame worksheets

Guilt and shame worksheets that separate the two before treating either.

Guilt is about what you did and points toward repair; shame is about who you are and points toward hiding. These printable pages hold that distinction and then work each side: the shame compass, shame resilience, a responsibility pie for the guilt component, self-forgiveness, the defectiveness schema, and the guilt hangover that follows a boundary.

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Self-Compassion
1p · PDF

Self-Compassion Break

Kristin Neff — three sentences to meet yourself in a hard moment

Mindfulness of the pain, recognition of shared humanity, and a hand on the heart. Three lines, all the difference.

Shame spirals, self-criticism, perfectionism, or any 'I should be better' moment.
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Emotion
1p · PDF

Shame Resilience Map

Recognize, reach out, speak, and reality-check

Brené Brown's four-element shame resilience framework, with prompts for the most recent shame spiral and the next time it shows up.

Perfectionism, post-mistake spirals, secret-keeping, identity-level criticism.
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Cognitive
1p · PDF

Shame vs Guilt Worksheet

Sort which one you are actually carrying — and what each one is asking for

Brené Brown's shame/guilt distinction turned into a sortable worksheet. Separates 'I did something bad' (repairable) from 'I am bad' (an identity wound), then routes each to its own response — repair for guilt, self-compassion and origin-tracking for shame.

Post-relapse, post-conflict, perfectionism, religious trauma, addiction recovery.
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Parts Work
1p · PDF

Inner Critic Worksheet

Name the voice, find what it's protecting, let your adult self answer back

Captures the exact words and tone of the inner critic, asks whose voice it sounds like and how old it feels, surfaces the fear underneath, and writes an adult reply that thanks the part instead of fighting it.

Perfectionism, depression, IFS-adjacent work, eating concerns, post-failure shame spirals.
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Anxiety
1p · PDF

Anxious Thoughts, Guilt & Shame

Untangle the three layers so each one can be met with the right response

For the tangle of anxious prediction ('something bad will happen'), guilt ('I shouldn't feel this'), and shame ('something is wrong with me for feeling this'). Separates the three, rates each, distinguishes guilt (behavior) from shame (identity), and lands on the right response for each layer.

Anxiety with a self-attacking overlay, moral scrupulosity, perfectionism, high-functioning clients who spiral in self-judgement about their own feelings.
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Shame
1p · PDF

Self-Forgiveness Worksheet

Full acknowledgement, repair, learning, release — in that order

Self-forgiveness done well is not letting yourself off the hook — it's meeting what you did with accountability, making repair where possible, learning what changes going forward, and then choosing to stop punishing. Ends with a written letter of release.

Post-mistake shame, recovery amends work, moral injury, parental regret, betrayal remorse, chronic self-attack.
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ADHD
1p · PDF

ADHD Shame Cycle

Miss → shame → avoid → miss more

Mapping the ADHD shame loop and its intervention points — self-compassionate response, repair action, addressing underlying ADHD needs.

Shame-driven avoidance; late-diagnosed ADHD.
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Cognitive
1p · PDF

Personalization: Pie of Responsibility

Slice the actual causes

List every contributing factor, assign rough percentages — mine is what's left, and it calls for a proportional response.

Depression, guilt, over-responsibility; parenting adjustment; grief.
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Boundaries
1p · PDF

Boundary Guilt Hangover

Ride the guilt without undoing

What the guilt says, whose voice it borrows, what's actually true, and how the guilt fades hour by hour.

People-pleasing recovery; codependency; family-of-origin work.
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Shame
1p · PDF

Shame Compass (Nathanson)

Four predictable directions

Withdraw, attack self, attack other, avoid — name your default and the cost, and pick an alternative.

Shame-heavy work; addiction recovery; trauma integration.
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Shame
1p · PDF

Self-Forgiveness Letter

Not letting yourself off the hook — stopping the punishing loop

A six-part letter: name what you did clearly, the context (explanation not excuse), who was harmed and how, what repair is possible and what isn't, what you want to do differently, and the sentence you say to yourself to stop paying interest on the debt forever.

Recovery amends work (Step 9-adjacent), post-affair guilt, parenting regret, medical decisions revisited, complicated grief with guilt.
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Schemas
1p · PDF

Defectiveness and Shame Schema Worksheet

Graded visibility, not argument

Names the defectiveness belief bluntly, maps when it is loudest and what gets hidden, contrasts felt truth on bad and good days, collects discounted evidence, and picks one thing to let a safe person see.

Shame-based presentations, chronic self-criticism, clients who hide as their main coping style.
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Separate them first, or nothing else works

Clients use the words interchangeably and clinicians often follow them. But guilt — 'I did something bad' — has an action attached to it, and shame — 'I am bad' — has no action available, because there is no repair for being defective. Work a shame statement as though it were guilt and the client will fail at the homework; work a guilt statement as though it were shame and you will offer self-compassion for something that actually calls for an apology.

The Shame vs Guilt worksheet does one thing: it takes the client's own sentences and asks them to rewrite each as a behaviour statement, marking the ones that cannot be rewritten. Those are the shame items, and they route to different pages.

Shame moves in four directions

Nathanson's compass names them: withdraw, attack self, attack other, avoid. Almost every client recognises their default immediately, and the recognition is non-shaming — you are describing a reflex, not a character. Because each direction carries a visible cost (isolation, self-attack, ruptured relationships, numbing), the page generates its own treatment target.

Shame resilience then works the other way round: what conditions let this client stay in contact with a shame experience without disappearing into one of the four. Brené Brown's framing of empathy as the antidote is useful here, but only after the client can notice the shame arriving.

The guilt side: proportion, not absolution

For real guilt, the goal is proportion. The Pie of Responsibility page has the client list every contributing factor and assign rough percentages before deciding what is theirs — which usually produces a smaller and more accurate number, and therefore a proportional response rather than a lifetime sentence.

Self-forgiveness comes after that, and never as a shortcut. The self-forgiveness letter is deliberately six parts long: what you did, the context, who was harmed, what repair is possible and what is not, what you would do differently, and the sentence that stops the client paying interest on the debt forever. Clients accept that structure when they would refuse a simple 'forgive yourself.'

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between guilt and shame?+

Guilt is about a behaviour — 'I did something bad' — and it points outward toward repair. Shame is about the self — 'I am bad' — and it points inward toward hiding. The clinical consequence is large: guilt is often adaptive and worth working with, while shame reliably blocks the behaviour that would resolve it, because you cannot repair a defect. The Shame vs Guilt worksheet has the client re-write each shame statement as a behaviour statement, which is usually the first moment repair becomes thinkable.

What are guilt and shame worksheets used for?+

They separate the two, then work each one on its own terms. For guilt: what actually happened, what share of responsibility is genuinely the client's, what repair is possible and what is not. For shame: which direction the client moves when it hits, what the shame is protecting, and what a smaller, more honest sentence about themselves would be. Mixing the two is the most common reason shame work stalls.

Which worksheet should I start with?+

Start with Shame vs Guilt for the distinction, because almost nothing else lands until the client can tell them apart. Then use the Shame Compass to name their default direction, and the responsibility pie for the guilt component. Self-forgiveness comes last — offered too early it reads as being let off the hook and clients refuse it.

What is the shame compass?+

Donald Nathanson's model describing the four predictable directions people move when shame hits: withdrawal, attacking the self, attacking the other, and avoidance through numbing or distraction. Clients recognise their own default within a minute of seeing the four laid out, and because each direction has an obvious cost, the page produces a target without the clinician having to name a flaw.

Why does saying no produce guilt?+

Because for many clients refusal was once genuinely unsafe. The Guilt Hangover page treats the 48 hours after a boundary as its own clinical event: what the guilt says, whose voice it borrows, what is actually true, and how the feeling fades hour by hour. Predicting that curve in advance is what stops the client reversing a boundary they were right to set.

Are these guilt and shame PDFs free?+

Yes — free printable PDFs, no watermarks, and sendable to a client as a secure link from a TherapistAssist account. Every page is PII-free by design: roles and initials rather than names.

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