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Attachment · Assessment

Attachment Style Worksheet

A learned strategy for closeness, not a personality type

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Attachment style is a learned strategy for handling closeness, not a diagnosis or a personality type. It can differ by relationship and it can change. Read the four patterns, then answer for one specific current relationship.

Secure

Closeness feels workable. Can ask directly, can be alone, can repair after conflict without the relationship feeling at risk.

Anxious / preoccupied

Closeness feels urgent and unreliable. Monitors the other person's mood, reaches harder when unsure, struggles to settle until contact is restored.

Dismissing / avoidant

Closeness feels costly. Handles distress alone, minimises need, pulls back or gets busy when the relationship asks for more.

Fearful avoidant / disorganised

Wants closeness and fears it at the same time. Reaches, then retreats. Often the pattern after relational trauma.

The relationship I am answering about (role only — partner, parent, friend)
Which pattern fits me best here, and the phrase that gave it away
A recent moment that shows the pattern in action
What I do when I am not sure where I stand with them
What the other person likely sees from the outside
How safe closeness feels in this relationship right now
none
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most
One thing a more secure version of me would do this week
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