IFS · IFS
IFS in Relationships — Partner Blends
Most couples fights are parts fighting parts
Most couples fights are parts fighting parts — not Self talking to Self. Map who was blended in the last hard moment on both sides.
The moment
Which of MY parts got activated
What that part needed / was protecting
Which of MY PARTNER'S parts I think got activated
What might have shifted if I'd shown up as Self instead
A 'we' language script — 'my anxious part is talking, but I want to say...'
Parts to parts is the fight
You did not marry your partner's protectors. When you can both find enough Self to speak from, the conversation gets ten times easier — and shorter.