Family · Family of Origin
Family Secrets Worksheet
Privacy vs secrecy — and what to name
Secrets shape families more than facts do. This sheet distinguishes privacy (healthy) from secrecy (organized around shame) and helps decide what to name and to whom.
Secrets I know about
Secret
Who knows / who doesn't
What the secrecy protects
Cost of keeping it
Privacy vs secrecy
Privacy: information belongs to a person and doesn't distort the system. Secrecy: information is hidden to protect shame and distorts what family members feel free to say.
One secret I'm considering naming — to whom, and why now
Name to a person, not the whole system
Naming a family secret rarely means announcing it. Usually it means telling one trusted person and letting the shame lose its grip.