Family · Family of Origin
Family Roles Worksheet
Hero, scapegoat, lost child, mascot — and what they cost
Every family assigns roles — hero, scapegoat, lost child, mascot, caretaker, parentified child, peacekeeper. Roles keep the system stable, but they cost the person carrying them. Name the role, name the cost, and decide what to lay down.
Roles I recognize in my family of origin
- Hero — the successful one who makes the family look okay
- Scapegoat — the identified problem who carries the family's shame
- Lost child — invisible, easy, no needs on record
- Mascot — comic relief, deflects with humor
- Caretaker / parentified — did adult work as a child
- Peacekeeper — managed everyone's feelings
- Rebel — refused the assignment, paid for it
The role I was assigned — and how I earned it
What the role protected me from
What the role cost me (permission to have needs, be angry, fail, be seen)
The role I still play in adult relationships
Where the same role runs at work, in friendships, in romantic life
One place I'll try refusing the role this week
The role is not you
Family roles feel like personality — they're not. They're a job description written for a child by a system that needed you to do it. Adulthood is deciding whether to keep working there.