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IFS · IFS

Exile Befriending

Once protectors give permission — slow, gentle, Self-led

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Once protectors have given permission, this is the exile-meeting page. Slow, gentle, Self-led. Don't push. If the exile pulls back, or protectors return, thank them and pause.

Meeting the exile
  • Where is it — in the body, in an image?
  • How old does it feel?
  • What is it wearing / doing / holding?
  • How do you (Self) feel toward it? (need at least curiosity or care)
  • If not — go back to the part that's blocking Self
What the exile shows you (memory, image, feeling)
What it needs from Self that it never got
What Self offers — presence, holding, witnessing

Witnessing is the medicine

The exile doesn't need advice. It needs Self to be there, fully, in the moment it was alone. That witnessing is what allows the burden to lift.

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