IFS · Assessment
Disowned Traits Inventory
Twelve traits, allowed or banned
A quick scan for the traits most commonly banned in childhood. Tick any that were unsafe, punished or quietly disapproved of where you grew up. Reflection, not an assessment instrument.
Was this allowed?
- Anger, or any loud disagreement
- Needing help or comfort
- Wanting things for myself
- Ambition, wanting to be seen
- Sadness that lasted more than a moment
- Fear, saying something was too much
- Envy, admitting someone had it better
- Rest, doing nothing without earning it
- Sexuality or desire
- Pride in my own work
- Playfulness, silliness, not being useful
- Saying no to someone older or senior
The three that matter most
1 — how the ban still shows up in my week
2 — how the ban still shows up in my week
3 — how the ban still shows up in my week
How much of my energy goes into keeping these out of view (0-10)
nonemost
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Bans are inherited, not chosen
Most of these rules were passed on by people repeating what was banned for them. Naming the rule is not an accusation — it is what makes the rule optional.