Trauma · Planning
Amends and Repair Plan
Turn a violated value into a concrete action
Guilt responds to action better than to insight. This page turns a violated value into something concrete — while screening out amends that would relieve the client at someone else's expense.
The value to serve
The value that was broken, in one line
What serving it would look like in ordinary life
Screening a direct approach
- The person is reachable and contact would be lawful and safe
- Contact would not re-expose them to harm or unwanted memory
- I can do it without requiring a response or absolution
- Someone outside the situation agrees it is a reasonable idea
If any box is unticked, what indirect amends serves the same value
Plan
Action
By when
Who knows about it
Done
Afterwards
Guilt before the action (0-10)
nonemost
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Guilt after the action (0-10)
nonemost
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What the guilt is asking for that action cannot give
Amends are not a transaction
If the plan depends on being thanked or forgiven, it will make things worse. Design each action so it stands on its own even if nobody ever notices.