Schema · Modes
Schema Modes Worksheet
Child, parent, coping and Healthy Adult
A mode is the state you are in right now — the schema switched on, plus the way you are handling it. Naming modes out loud is what makes them separable. Read the four families, then map your own.
Child modes
Vulnerable Child (lonely, frightened, unmet), Angry Child (needs violated), Impulsive/Undisciplined Child (wants it now).
Dysfunctional parent modes
Punitive Parent (you deserve this) and Demanding Parent (never enough). Internalised voices, not present-day people.
Maladaptive coping modes
Compliant Surrenderer, Detached Protector or Self-Soother, and Overcompensator (bully, perfectionist, self-aggrandiser).
Healthy Adult mode
Reparents the child modes, sets limits on the parent modes, keeps the coping modes proportionate. The goal of treatment.
My most frequent mode, and the name I want to use for it
What flips me into it — the situation, tone, or moment
What it feels like from the inside (body, thoughts, urge)
What other people see when I am in it
What this mode is trying to protect me from
How much of an average week I spend in this mode
nonemost
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How much time my Healthy Adult mode currently gets
nonemost
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The earliest warning sign — the thing I notice before the mode takes over
One sentence to say to myself at that warning sign