Recovery · Family of an Addict
Boundaries with an Addicted Loved One
What I will do — and whether I'll actually keep it
A boundary is what I will do, not a rule about what they must do. It only works if the consequence is something I'm willing to keep. Threats I won't follow through on teach them my limits aren't real.
The relationship
Partner, parent, adult child, sibling, friend (initials only).
Build the boundary — one per situation
Situation
What I will no longer do / accept
My consequence (what I will do instead)
Am I willing to keep it? (Y/N + why)
Scripts I can say out loud
"I love you. I'm not going to drive you home when you've been drinking. If you call, I'll send a rideshare instead." Short, warm, no debate.
What they'll likely do when I hold the line
Anger, guilt-trip, silent treatment, threat to leave, escalation, "you don't love me." Predict it now so it doesn't move me later.
How I'll hold the boundary anyway
Who I'll call, where I'll go, what I'll re-read, my own meeting or therapy session.
The boundary I keep breaking — and the smallest version of it I can actually keep this week