Social Skills · Social Skills
Active Listening Skills Worksheet
Attend, reflect, clarify, validate — the four moves people skip
Active listening isn't waiting to talk. It's four moves: attend, reflect, clarify, validate. This worksheet catches which of the four you skip and gives you scripted alternatives.
Recent conversation where I wasn't really listening — what I was doing instead
Attending — eye contact, phone away, body turned toward them
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Reflecting — 'So what I hear is…' before responding
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Clarifying — asking one specific follow-up before advising
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Validating — 'That makes sense given…' before problem-solving
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Two reflection stems I'll use this week ('It sounds like…' / 'What I'm hearing is…')
Two validation stems ('That makes sense given…' / 'Of course you felt…')
My default trap — advising, one-upping, minimizing, or fixing
One conversation this week I'll deliberately practice in