First IFS session — finding Self and meeting one part
Introduce parts language, locate Self-energy, and let the client meet one protector with curiosity.
Framing
IFS asks a lot of clients on session one — to externalize parts of themselves and shift relationship to inner experience. Go slow. Many clients have never been invited to relate to themselves this way.
"In this approach we think about the mind as having parts — different voices or sides of you, each trying to help in its own way. Even the ones that seem like they're sabotaging usually have a protective job. I'll be asking you to get curious about these parts, almost like meeting them. We'll go at your pace."
Assessment questions
When you think about what's been hardest lately, what shows up in your body right now?
Why · Anchors in present somatic experience, the doorway to parts.
Is there a part of you that does X (the symptom), and another part that doesn't like that it does?
Why · Introduces parts language non-pathologically.
How do you feel toward the part that's doing X?
Why · The 6 Fs check — measures Self-energy access.
What does this part not want you to feel, if it stepped back?
Why · Surfaces the exiled material the protector is guarding.
Key moves
Externalize a part
"There's a part of you that…" instead of "You are…". Watch how this lands somatically.
Check for Self-energy
Curiosity, calm, compassion, courage — without enough Self, blend with another part. Notice and name it.
Unblend gently
"Can that critical part give us a little space, just to talk to it?" If no, get curious about why — that's another part.
Ask one protector its job
End the first hour having let one part be heard. Don't push for exiles.
Listen for
- Polarizations — when two parts are at war (the dieter and the binger)
- Manager parts speaking in 'shoulds' and 'have-tos'
- Firefighters that show up after pain (substance use, dissociation, rage)
- Hints of exiled material — sadness, shame, terror that the protectors keep at bay
Closing the session
Thank the part you spoke with for showing up. Ask the client what it was like to relate to themselves this way. Offer a Self-check practice for the week.
Once a day, pause and ask 'who's here right now?' — notice which part is in charge, no fixing required.
Common mistakes
- Going to exiles too fast — protectors will shut it down or the client will dissociate
- Treating parts as metaphor only — IFS works because clients experience parts as real
- Skipping the 'how do you feel toward it' check and assuming you're in Self
- Forgetting the therapist needs Self-energy too — your own parts will activate