Ego State · Ego State
Protector Negotiation
Permission-based access to a wounded younger part
Before approaching a wounded younger part, negotiate with the protector who guards it. Permission-based access prevents flooding and preserves the protector's job.
Meeting the protector
What does this protector do (the strategy)
What it fears will happen if it stops
How long it has been doing this job
Negotiation
What the adult self offers as an alternative
What amount of access the protector will allow (a peek, a minute, a session)
Signal the protector will use to say 'stop'
No trespassing
If the protector says no, the answer is no. Slow down and address its fear. Forced access re-traumatizes.