About this worksheet
Relationship OCD (ROCD) is chronic, distressing doubt about a romantic relationship — 'do I really love them?', 'are they the one?', 'am I attracted enough?' — combined with the compulsive checking that follows: monitoring feelings in real time, comparing the partner to others, testing attraction by looking at strangers, mental review of early relationship 'proof,' and reassurance-seeking from friends or therapy. Distinguished from a genuine values mismatch by the loop: ROCD doubt does not resolve with any answer, follows the person across partners, and is accompanied by compulsions. This worksheet names the doubts, catalogs the compulsions, and shifts the treatment target from 'am I sure' to 'am I willing to commit to the values-based action while the doubt sits in the passenger seat.' Draws on the Doron / Derby / Szepsenwol ROCD framework and standard ERP for OCD. It is not a couples-therapy worksheet — the intervention is with the person with OCD, though partner psychoeducation is usually helpful. Requires screening for actual relationship problems (abuse, incompatibility, deceit) before framing symptoms as ROCD.
When to use it
- Clients with recurrent, distressing relationship doubt that persists across partners.
- Clients who report loving their partner but cannot stop checking their feelings.
- Partner-focused ROCD — obsessive doubt about the partner's traits, appearance, or intelligence.
- Not for use where the doubt reflects real incompatibility, abuse, or values mismatch — assess first.
How to use it
- 1
Screen for real relationship problems first
ROCD is a diagnosis of exclusion. If the doubt tracks real issues (abuse, incompatibility, deceit), the doubt is information, not OCD.
- 2
Catalogue doubts and compulsions
Name the recurring doubts and the checking, comparing, testing, and reassurance-seeking that follow.
- 3
Describe values-based relationship
What would the client want the relationship to look like if OCD were quiet? This becomes the direction, not the certainty target.
- 4
Drop one compulsion this week
Skip a comparison. Do not check the feeling. Do not ask the friend. Move toward the partner instead.
- 5
Rehearse living with the doubt
The goal is not certainty. It is committing to the person while the doubt sits in the passenger seat — sometimes loud, always survivable.
Frequently asked questions
What is ROCD?+
Relationship OCD — a subtype in which the obsessions center on relationship-focused doubts ('do I love them?') or partner-focused doubts ('are they the right one for me?'), driving compulsive checking, comparing, and reassurance-seeking.
How do I know if it's ROCD or a real relationship problem?+
Real problems have specific, coherent content, respond to information or change, and reduce when addressed. ROCD doubts are recurrent, generic, unresolvable, follow the person across relationships, and produce compulsions. Screen for abuse, incompatibility, and deceit first.
Will treatment force me to stay with my partner?+
No. Treatment restores the ability to make a values-based choice. Once the compulsive checking is quiet, whatever the client decides about the relationship is genuine — not OCD-driven.
What does ERP look like for ROCD?+
Deliberately not checking the feeling, not comparing, not seeking reassurance, and moving toward the partner (physical closeness, planning together) while the doubt is present. The distress rises and falls without the ritual.
Is this worksheet free?+
Yes. Free printable PDF. Sign in to send as a secure client link.
Worksheet — Relationship OCD (ROCD) Worksheet — provided by TherapistAssist for clinical use. Not a substitute for assessment or treatment.
