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Emotional Regulation Worksheet for Kids

Notice, name, understand, choose — the wave-surfing version

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Big feelings come in waves. Surfing them is a skill: notice, name, choose. Try each step the next time a wave shows up.

1. Notice
What just happened?
Where is the feeling in my body?
2. Name
The loud feeling on top
The softer feeling underneath
How big is it?
none
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
most
3. What is this feeling trying to tell me?
4. Choose
  • Take 5 slow breaths
  • Move my body
  • Ask for help
  • Use words instead of actions
  • Take a break in a quiet spot
  • Do something opposite (smile if I'm sad, soft voice if I'm mad)
What I'll try right now
Feeling size after
none
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
most

Riding the wave

Feelings rise, peak, and pass — usually in less than 20 minutes if we don't pile new ones on top. Your job isn't to stop the wave. Just ride it.

References & further reading

Conceptual background and further reading, not validation of this handout. Named instruments and methods belong to their original authors; custom prompts and trackers are not validated versions of those instruments.

© 2026 TherapistAssist · For clinical use · Not a substitute for assessment
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About this worksheet

Emotional regulation is a four-step skill: notice, name, understand, choose. This worksheet walks a child through one wave. (1) Notice — what just happened, where is the feeling in the body. (2) Name — the loud feeling on top, the softer feeling underneath, sized 0–10. (3) Understand — what is this feeling trying to tell me. (4) Choose — six evidence-based regulation moves, with space to write the one I'll try right now, and a re-rating after. The clinical model draws on DBT emotion regulation skills, ACT acceptance-then-action, and the body-based work of polyvagal-informed therapy. The metaphor matters: feelings rise, peak, and pass — usually in less than 20 minutes if we don't pile new ones on top. The child's job isn't to stop the wave. Just ride it. Use this worksheet for ages 7–12 with emotional regulation difficulties, ADHD-driven big reactions, transitions, or as a structured debrief after a meltdown. Pairs with the Feelings worksheet for the naming step.

When to use it

  • Ages 7–12 with frequent emotional outbursts, meltdowns, or shutdowns.
  • ADHD, autism-spectrum, or trauma-impacted children with regulation challenges.
  • After a regulation episode — as a debrief once the child has returned to calm.
  • As session-by-session homework to build the four-step muscle.
  • Not for use in the middle of dysregulation — co-regulate first, then use the worksheet later.

How to use it

  1. 1
    Wait for return to calm

    Worksheets do not work during dysregulation. Co-regulate first; do the worksheet during repair, not during the storm.

  2. 2
    Walk the four steps slowly

    Notice → name → understand → choose. Each step is a separate skill; many kids skip 'understand' and miss the regulation pivot.

  3. 3
    Help with the softer underneath feeling

    Anger is often hurt; jealousy is often fear of not being chosen. The underneath name is where regulation lives.

  4. 4
    Let the child pick the skill

    Self-chosen skills get used. If they pick one that surprises you, trust it.

  5. 5
    Use the wave metaphor explicitly

    Draw the wave. Mark where they are. Naming that the peak passes is itself regulating.

Frequently asked questions

What are emotional regulation skills for kids?+

Skills that help a child influence which emotions they have, how intense, and what they do with them. Core components are noticing early body signals, naming the feeling accurately, understanding what the feeling needs, and choosing a response — exactly the four steps of this worksheet.

How do you teach emotional regulation to kids?+

Three components: model it (kids learn regulation from regulated adults), co-regulate it (your calm becomes their calm before they can do it solo), and explicitly teach the skill (this worksheet). All three matter; teaching alone, without modeling and co-regulating, has limited effect.

What age is best for emotion regulation worksheets?+

Ages 7–12 is the worksheet sweet spot. For ages 4–6, use co-regulation, picture-based emotion cards, and play-based work. For 13+, more sophisticated DBT-skills-based tools work well.

What if my child can't identify their feelings?+

Start with the Feelings worksheet — naming is a prerequisite for regulation. Many kids get stuck in step 1 because the vocabulary isn't built yet. Six weeks of daily feelings-naming usually unlocks the regulation work.

Is this the same as DBT for kids?+

It draws on DBT emotion-regulation skills but is simplified for a one-page kid format. For comprehensive DBT-A (DBT for Adolescents) with skills training, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness, work with a DBT-trained therapist.

Worksheet — Emotional Regulation Worksheet for Kids — provided by TherapistAssist for clinical use. Not a substitute for assessment or treatment.