Universal · Kids
Emotional Regulation Worksheet for Kids
Notice, name, understand, choose — the wave-surfing version
About this worksheet
Emotional regulation is a four-step skill: notice, name, understand, choose. This worksheet walks a child through one wave. (1) Notice — what just happened, where is the feeling in the body. (2) Name — the loud feeling on top, the softer feeling underneath, sized 0–10. (3) Understand — what is this feeling trying to tell me. (4) Choose — six evidence-based regulation moves, with space to write the one I'll try right now, and a re-rating after. The clinical model draws on DBT emotion regulation skills, ACT acceptance-then-action, and the body-based work of polyvagal-informed therapy. The metaphor matters: feelings rise, peak, and pass — usually in less than 20 minutes if we don't pile new ones on top. The child's job isn't to stop the wave. Just ride it. Use this worksheet for ages 7–12 with emotional regulation difficulties, ADHD-driven big reactions, transitions, or as a structured debrief after a meltdown. Pairs with the Feelings worksheet for the naming step.
When to use it
- Ages 7–12 with frequent emotional outbursts, meltdowns, or shutdowns.
- ADHD, autism-spectrum, or trauma-impacted children with regulation challenges.
- After a regulation episode — as a debrief once the child has returned to calm.
- As session-by-session homework to build the four-step muscle.
- Not for use in the middle of dysregulation — co-regulate first, then use the worksheet later.
How to use it
- 1Wait for return to calm
Worksheets do not work during dysregulation. Co-regulate first; do the worksheet during repair, not during the storm.
- 2Walk the four steps slowly
Notice → name → understand → choose. Each step is a separate skill; many kids skip 'understand' and miss the regulation pivot.
- 3Help with the softer underneath feeling
Anger is often hurt; jealousy is often fear of not being chosen. The underneath name is where regulation lives.
- 4Let the child pick the skill
Self-chosen skills get used. If they pick one that surprises you, trust it.
- 5Use the wave metaphor explicitly
Draw the wave. Mark where they are. Naming that the peak passes is itself regulating.
Frequently asked questions
What are emotional regulation skills for kids?+
Skills that help a child influence which emotions they have, how intense, and what they do with them. Core components are noticing early body signals, naming the feeling accurately, understanding what the feeling needs, and choosing a response — exactly the four steps of this worksheet.
How do you teach emotional regulation to kids?+
Three components: model it (kids learn regulation from regulated adults), co-regulate it (your calm becomes their calm before they can do it solo), and explicitly teach the skill (this worksheet). All three matter; teaching alone, without modeling and co-regulating, has limited effect.
What age is best for emotion regulation worksheets?+
Ages 7–12 is the worksheet sweet spot. For ages 4–6, use co-regulation, picture-based emotion cards, and play-based work. For 13+, more sophisticated DBT-skills-based tools work well.
What if my child can't identify their feelings?+
Start with the Feelings worksheet — naming is a prerequisite for regulation. Many kids get stuck in step 1 because the vocabulary isn't built yet. Six weeks of daily feelings-naming usually unlocks the regulation work.
Is this the same as DBT for kids?+
It draws on DBT emotion-regulation skills but is simplified for a one-page kid format. For comprehensive DBT-A (DBT for Adolescents) with skills training, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness, work with a DBT-trained therapist.
Related worksheets
Worksheet — Emotional Regulation Worksheet for Kids — provided by TherapistAssist for clinical use. Not a substitute for assessment or treatment.