Deepening Your ACT Values Clarification Exercise with Clients

As clinicians, we’ve all been there. You introduce what you hope will be a pivotal moment in therapy: the values exercise. You hand your client a list, or maybe the Values Bullseye, and you ask them to explore what truly matters to them. What you get back is… fine. “Family.” “Health.” “Being a good person.” These answers are not wrong, but they often lack the vitality and personal resonance needed to fuel real behavior change. A technically correct but experientially flat ACT values clarification exercise can stall momentum rather than build it. This post is for clinicians who want to move past those polite, surface answers and guide clients toward a richer, more actionable understanding of their chosen life directions.

The Foundational Problem: Why Values Work Stalls

Before we can deepen the work, we need to diagnose why it so often remains shallow. An ineffective values clarification exercise isn't usually due to a lack of willingness from the client, but rather a convergence of common psychological processes that we, as ACT therapists, are uniquely positioned to understand.

First, we encounter the problem of social desirability and pliance. Clients want to give the “right” answer. “Family,” “honesty,” and “hard work” are socially sanctioned values. A client might select them not because they are freely chosen directions, but because they are repeating rules they have absorbed from their upbringing or culture. This is values-as-introject, not values-as-chosen-direction. The energy behind it feels like an obligation, a “should,” rather than a genuine “want.” When you probe these values, the client’s language often becomes abstract and distant.

Second, clients frequently confuse values with goals. A goal is a destination you can arrive at; a value is a direction you travel in. A client might say, “I value getting a promotion.” This is a goal. The underlying value might be contribution, competence, providing for their family, or gaining respect. If we mistake the goal for the value, the work becomes rigid. What happens if they don’t get the promotion? Is the value then moot? By focusing on the underlying direction (e.g., “developing my skills”), we create a pathway for valued living that is accessible regardless of the outcome of a specific goal.

Finally, and most profoundly, experiential avoidance is the primary saboteur of effective values work. To genuinely connect with what matters most, a client must also be willing to contact the pain and vulnerability associated with it. The client who deeply values intimate connection has likely also felt the intense pain of loneliness or rejection. To avoid that pain, they may subconsciously wall off the corresponding value. Their life becomes organized around not feeling bad, rather than feeling what is important. When we ask them what they value, they draw a blank because the part of them that cares most deeply is the part they have been trying to numb. The answer “I don’t know” is often a marker of successful experiential avoidance.

Setting the Stage: Prepping for Deeper Exploration

An ACT values clarification exercise is not a standalone intervention. Its effectiveness is profoundly influenced by the work that precedes it. Jumping into values too early, before a client has developed some capacity for psychological flexibility, is like trying to plant a garden in untilled, rocky soil.

Before you even bring out a values worksheet, ensure you have adequately touched upon other core processes of the hexaflex. Defusion and acceptance are particularly critical prerequisites. A client who is heavily fused with their thoughts (“I am a failure,” “I’ll never be good enough”) will evaluate potential values through that cognitive filter. Any chosen value will immediately be met with a barrage of reasons why it’s impossible or foolish. Some basic defusion work—noticing thoughts as thoughts, thanking the mind for its input—can create just enough space for a value to be considered on its own merits.

Similarly, acceptance work builds the emotional muscle needed for values clarification. You might introduce a short mindfulness exercise at the start of the session focused on making room for discomfort. You could say something like, “As we talk about what’s important to you today, your mind might bring up some difficult feelings or memories. Our task isn’t to get rid of them, but just to let them be here with us, like a passenger in the car, as we keep our hands on the steering wheel.” This framing normalizes the pain-value link and primes the client to be more willing to contact difficult emotions in the service of the conversation.

The therapeutic frame you provide is also paramount. Explicitly state that this is not a test, there are no correct answers, and the goal is exploration, not performance. You might say: “This isn't about creating a to-do list that you can fail at. This is about connecting with what gives your life meaning, like finding a compass. We're not worried about the destination yet; we're just trying to figure out which way is North for you.” This reduces the pressure and invites curiosity over judgment.

Advanced Techniques for a Deeper ACT Values Clarification Exercise

Once the groundwork is laid, you can move into the exercise itself. The key is to treat standard tools not as endpoints, but as starting points for a richer, more interactive exploration. Let’s look at how to refine some common approaches.

From Nouns to Verbs: Activating the Value

A client says, “I value family.” This is a noun, a static concept. To bring it to life, we must help them translate it into a verb—an action, a process, a way of being.

• You (Therapist): “That’s a wonderful value. When you are living by that value of ‘family,’ what are you doing? If I were a fly on the wall, what would I see or hear?”
• Client: “I guess I’d be spending more time with them.”
• You: “Great. Let’s get even more specific. What does ‘spending time’ look like? Is it listening without distraction? Is it sharing a laugh? Is it supporting them when they struggle?”

This line of questioning moves the client from the abstract concept of “family” to the chosen, active qualities of a family member they want to be: a listener, a supporter, someone who is present. These verbs are far more potent for guiding behavior than the noun. This turns a static concept into a dynamic process and is a cornerstone of a more meaningful ACT values clarification exercise.

The Eulogy Reimagined: From Legacy to Daily Action

The “eulogy” or “80th birthday party” exercise is a classic for a reason, but it can also elicit vague, lofty platitudes. “I want them to say I was a kind person.” Again, we need to ground this in behavior.

• You: “That’s a beautiful thing to be remembered for. Let’s work backward from there. For people to say you were a kind person, what would they have seen you doing, day in and day out? Kindness isn’t a one-time act; it’s a pattern. What are some of the small, almost unnoticeable things you’d be doing that, over time, would build that reputation?”
• Client: “Maybe… asking the cashier how their day is. Or not getting so angry in traffic. Calling my mom back, even when I’m tired.”

Suddenly, a huge, intimidating value (“kindness”) is broken down into small, concrete, and doable behaviors. You have connected the grand legacy to the present moment, which is where life is actually lived. The value becomes a guide for a thousand tiny choices.

The ‘And’ Technique: Holding Pain and Values Together

Experiential avoidance creates a false dichotomy: either I pursue my values or I manage my pain. The ‘and’ technique explicitly links them, demonstrating that they are two sides of the same coin.

• Client: “I want to be a more present and engaged father, but I’m just so exhausted and irritable after work.”
• You: “Okay, so let’s hold both of those things. You want to be a present and engaged father, and you feel exhausted and irritable. It sounds like being that kind of father is so important to you that when you can’t do it because of exhaustion, it hurts. That pain is a signpost pointing North, pointing directly to your value.”

This simple reframe does two powerful things. It validates the client’s struggle without letting it be a barrier, and it transforms the painful feeling from an obstacle into evidence of the value itself. The pain is no longer something to be eliminated before values can be pursued; it is part of the experience of caring deeply.

When the Client Says “I Don’t Know”: Navigating the Void

Perhaps the most challenging moment in values work is the sincere, frustrated, “I just don’t know.” This is not a dead end. It’s a clinical opportunity. This is where the client’s experiential avoidance is most visible, and where our most creative work can happen.

Look for the Pain

Where there is great pain, a great value is often buried nearby. Gently shift the focus from what they want to what hurts.

• You: “Okay, let’s put the question of values aside for a moment. Where does it hurt the most in your life right now? What is the ache you feel most often?”
• Client: “It’s just… a crushing loneliness. I feel completely disconnected from everyone.”
• You: “That sounds incredibly painful. And you know, we only feel loneliness because connection is so important to us as humans. It seems like the flip side of that intense pain you’re feeling might be a deep, deep desire for genuine connection. What if that’s one of your North Stars?”

Here, you are using the client’s emotional pain as a divining rod for their values. The intensity of their suffering is proportional to the importance of what they feel they are missing. In this way, their presenting problem becomes the doorway into values work.

Use the Present Moment

The therapeutic relationship itself is a space for valued action. When a client says “I don’t know,” they are still doing something: they are showing up to therapy.

• You: “It feels like you’re in a fog right now, and the compass is just spinning. I get that. And I’m also noticing that even with that feeling of being lost, you chose to come here today. You chose to sit with this discomfort and talk to me about it. What does that choice say about what matters to you?”
• Client: “I guess… I don’t want to give up. I want to get better.”
• You: “So maybe a value in there is persistence? Or self-care? Or courage? The courage to face the unknown, right here in this room.”

This move anchors the conversation in the client’s immediate, observable behavior. It demonstrates that values are not abstract ideas but choices made in real-time. It honors the client’s effort and frames it as a valued action, providing an immediate, experiential taste of what values work feels like.

Troubleshooting: Where the Approach Can Go Wrong

Even with the best techniques, values work can hit a wall. Recognizing the pattern and having a strategy is key.

The Over-Intellectualizing Client: This client treats values clarification like a philosophical debate. They analyze, categorize, and critique potential values but never connect with them emotionally. They live in their heads, and the exercise stays there with them.

• The Pivot: Shift to metaphorical or embodied exercises. Instead of a list, use imagery. “If that value of ‘creativity’ were a landscape, what would it look like? What’s the weather like there?” Or, “When you think about a moment you felt truly connected to that value, where do you feel it in your body? What is the physical sensation of it?” This bypasses the analytical mind and accesses a different way of knowing.

The Client Overwhelmed by Trauma: For clients with significant trauma histories, looking toward the future can feel terrifying or impossible. Survival is the only value on the table. Pushing for broader life values can feel invalidating and premature.

• The Pivot: Scale the work way down and focus on safety and self-compassion as foundational values. The work might become about what matters in the next five minutes, right here in this room. “What is one thing we could do right now that would honor a value of taking care of yourself?” The value might be as simple as “grounding” or “breathing.” You must earn the right to talk about a 10-year plan by first honoring the need for safety in the 10-second plan.

The Client Driven by “Shoulds”: This client’s list of values is a reflection of external pressures and a lifetime of rule-following (pliance). They talk about what a “good person” should value, not what they organically want to move toward.

• The Pivot: Introduce a sorting task. Write each value on a separate card. Ask the client to create two piles: “Things that feel like a true, intrinsic ‘want’ for my life,” and “Things that feel more like a ‘should’ or an expectation from others.” Then, explore the ‘should’ pile without judgment. “Whose voice do you hear when you read this card? Where did this rule come from?” This defusion from social programming is a necessary step before they can hear their own voice.

From Clarification to Committed Action

Clarifying values is only half the process. The purpose of the exercise is to mobilize behavior. The final and most crucial step is to build a bridge from the clarified value to a small, committed action.

Once a client has connected with a value in a vital, meaningful way (e.g., “I want to be a more adventurous person, not just think about it”), the follow-up question is immediate and concrete: “What is one small, doable action you could take this week that would be a step in the direction of ‘adventure’?”

Crucially, this should not be a huge, intimidating goal. It’s a “tiny habit.” If the value is adventure, the action isn’t “plan a trip to another country.” It’s “try a new coffee shop on Saturday morning” or “take a different route on my walk home from work.” These small wins are essential. They provide immediate, experiential reinforcement that it is possible to live in alignment with this value. They build self-efficacy and create momentum.

Tie it back directly to your work in session. “Remember when we did that ACT values clarification exercise and you landed on ‘connection’ as something that truly matters? What’s a 5-minute action you could take tomorrow that would honor that value? Just a tiny step in that direction.” This repetition links the insight from the exercise to real-world behavior, which is the entire point of the ACT model.

Ultimately, a successful ACT values clarification exercise is not a one-time event but the beginning of an ongoing conversation. It’s a dynamic process of listening, exploring, and experimenting. By moving past surface answers and being willing to navigate the complexities of our clients’ pain and history, we can help them build a life that is not just about feeling better, but about feeling more—more connected, more vital, and more deeply engaged with what matters most.

FAQ

How often should I do a values clarification exercise with a client? Values are not static, so they should be revisited. A major exercise might be done early in therapy and then again perhaps yearly or when the client is at a major life crossroads. However, values should be a recurring theme in most sessions. A quick check-in like, “What value were you honoring when you made that difficult choice?” or “How does that action line up with your value of X?” keeps the work alive and integrated.

What if a client's values seem “unhealthy” or antisocial? This is rare, but it happens. First, dig deeper. A client who says they value “revenge” may have a deeper, more pro-social value of “justice” or “being seen” that has been thwarted and twisted by pain. Your job is to help them find the vital, life-affirming direction underneath the destructive impulse. In the rare case of genuinely antisocial values, this may become a conversation about the workability of those values. “If you live a life guided by ‘getting one over on people,’ what kind of life do you expect that to be? What relationships will you have? Does that life work for you in the long run?”

Can I use these exercises with clients who aren't familiar with ACT? Absolutely. The principles of exploring what is most important to a person and connecting that to their actions are universally therapeutic. You don’t need to use the ACT jargon or show them the hexaflex. The conversation about what gives life meaning, the pain of being disconnected from that, and the small steps one can take toward it, are powerful within any therapeutic modality.

What's the difference between values and goals in ACT? This is a crucial distinction. A value is a chosen life direction, like heading West. It's a process that never ends. You can always be more loving, more creative, more courageous. A goal is a concrete outcome or destination you can achieve along that path, like arriving in California. Goals serve values. You might set a goal to “run a 5k” (goal) in service of your value of “physical vitality” (value). Once you run the 5k, the goal is complete, but the value of vitality remains as a guide for your next actions.